What a Bitch!
by Char-nee
Summary: She's a sassy waitress, and he's a jerk of a customer. "Who does he think he is? The nerve of some people!" No doubt in her co-workers minds that they fit like equally-matched puzzel-pieces. His friend is a big guy who is an equally bad-mannered man, and her sister's a violent little ball of fire. These couples can bloom, or crash and burn. By the looks of it, you can't tell.
1. Chapter 1: God, What a Jackass!

**Hi! I have thought and overthought a billion times about making a GaLu, and I now have a good storyline that although may give Lucy a slightly different personality, it will most likely seem partially. I also want to state that I _am _adding my OC, who conveniently has the same name as me, into this fanfic. Now, this is basically me, inserting myself into my own writing, but I just thought it would be an okay addition, although some didn't like her in the first story I incorporated her in, but I hope you guys like me/her!**

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**Chapter 1: God, What a Jackass!**

**Lucy's P.O.V.**

I awoke to the unpleasant beeping of the white alarm clock next to my head, and nearly through the cursed thing off my nightstand. I would say I hated going to work, but that would be a lie. I work at the ever-popular_ Fairie's Den, _a resturant and bar, with my little sister and recently-made friends, not to mention it had good pay. I got up and walked into the room across from mine, and lazily push the small sleeping blob of said sister off her bed, turning her into an angry mess. The only reason I had this job in the first place was because the blob worked there first, and since I was unemployed, she decided to put a good word in for me.

" I hate you, Lucy." The blob mumbled before throwing a pillow at me and standing up, ruffling her out-of-place bangs and pushing past me to go to the bathroom

" Love you too, Char." I said with a smile, before going back to my room, and pulling out my uniform for work, which consisted of a white ruffled dress shirt, white thigh-high stockings, and a light blue high-wasted skirt with straps on the sides, making it look like you're wearing a vest. I know Charlene particularly did not like the skirt, for it didn't give her the "protection" that pants gave, and she refused to wear flats or heels, sticking with her black high-tops. I, however, enjoyed the cute outfit, and paired it with my favorite pair of black, 3-inch pumps. I rolled my sleeves up to above my elbows, and I went to go do my hair in the bathroom, when I saw Charlene already done, and waiting for me at the kitchen table. We shared an apartment since our parents were no longer with us in this world, and we enjoy each other's company... most times. I pulled my hair up in a pony-tail, leaving some strands down on the sides of my face.

" Ey, are you done yet?" I heard her yell annoyedly from the kitchen. She has always been an impatient little girl, although she's only a year young than me, and I'm 22.

"Eeeyup!" I say, running to the door, and buttoning up my winter jacket, seeing as how Charlene had hers on, and a scarf.

" Wearing a scarf? Even though it's gonna make your bangs all fuzzy?" I teased, laughing as she pouted and turned a little red with anger

" Shut up, it's cold out. Let's just go." She said, stomping out the door, leaving me to lock it behind us. As we walked down the stairs and into the uncharted freezing territory, I nearly cursed out loud.

" It's really cold! Like 'the cold wind is going to cut you' cold." I said as a sharp breeze whisked my hair past my head.

" Yeah. Lucky for us, the resturant is only a few blocks away. Anymore, and I'd be a block of ice!" She said. She was never really good at jokes, either. I just nodded to her, wishing I had worn a scarf as well. But as soon as the resturant came into view, I sprinted to those double doors, Charlene not far behind me. We banged on the door for Mira to let us in, since opening time wasn't for another hour, and we were here to set up, and most times, she also had a hot breakfast here for us as well. Charlene and I worked as waitresses, although if buisness was, well, _busy, _Charlene would help with cooking in the back. We hung up our coats in the back when Mira let us in.

" Have a nice walk?" She asked sarcastically, giggling with a small smile.

" Yeah, just dandy!" Charlene said back with equal sarcasm, attempting to comb her golden bangs back down.

" If you guys set the tables, I'll make you guys your breakfast." Mira bargained

" Deal!" I said, although it was a task to neatly fold the silverware into the napkins. Charlene looked like she was fine with that, and as we started folding, our friends came in, Juvia and Cana, who looked as chilled as we had felt earlier.

" How's the weather?" Charlene jokingly asked. Juvia sighed and Cana laughed a bit.

" It's great." The brunette said, stripping off her coat and hat.

" Come help us," I said, "Mira's making us breakfast this morning." The girls smiled, knowing how favorable the white-haired woman's cooking was. We had succesfully set the tables, and Wendy and Erza had arrived, by the time Mira had given us food, and after we ate, her sister, Lisanna, came bounding up the stairs from the cellar.

" There, it's organized." She huffed, " What time is it?" she asked, seeming very tired.

" It's opening time." Mira said, turning the sign on the door from 'Closed' to 'Open'. Erza and Mira went to the kitchen, and Lisanna went to work the register, the rest of us waited behind the bar, which opened at 6, and waited to take orders for whoever came. The first was one of our reguars, Master Makarov, and we sent Wendy to take his order.

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Today was not an easy day, with not a lot of customers, but at night, buisness picked up, and I guess it's because every guy loved the wild bartender: Cana. She was big on alcohol, and was certified for alcohol. She was perverted and nuts, drunk or not. Probably why most of the guys request her to be their waitress. The last customer I was serving had left, so I had to find someone new to wait on. As the thought came to mind, a new customer walked in. he was an interesting character. He had scars on his arms, multiple piercings, long black hair, and suspicious red eyes. I'm not going to lie, I was a little afraid to approach him, but I didn't have any choice. I started towards the scowling man.

" Hello, sir. May I take your order?" I asked with a smile

" Just get me a beer, Blondie." He said roughly. Right then, I didn't care if he looked intimidatig or not. I put my free hand on my hip, and glared down at the man.

" Uh, excuse me?" I scoffed, " I may be your waitress, but that is no excuse to talk to me like I'm your servant, jackass." I finished, and he looked up at me, glaring right back.

" Look, I'm not having the best night, just get me a beer." He ordered once more.

" That makes two of us." I scoffed once more, stomping away towards Cana at the bar.

" I need a beer for Jackass, over there in the corner." I said, leaning over, my elbows on the bar.

" Coming up." She laughed " By the way, what did _this _one say to piss you off?" she asked, turning her head to the side as she filled a glass with beer, then handing it to me.

" Treating me like a little servant. Really, the nerve of some people." I growled, stomping back over to jackass. I slammed the drink down on the table, some of the alcohol spilling over the edge.

" Anything else, _sir_?" I hissed at him with an annoyed smile

" Name's _Gajeel. _And, yes..." He smirked, and then listed practically everything on the menu. My jaw nearly dropped _There was no way he was going to eat all of this, he must be doing it to get back at me. _" I think that'll be all, _Blondie._" He finished, his eyes almost laughing at how I began to glare at him once more.

" Name's _Lucy, _bastard. I'll be back with your food in 30-45 minutes." I growled, walking back into the kitchen.

" Mira, Erza, we got a BIG order here." I handed Mira 3 slips of paper which held jackass' orders.

" God almighty! He eats as much as Natsu!" Mira said, referring to Lisanna's boyfriend.

" He may eat like him, but he sure as hell don't act like him." I said, sighing and leaving to see if anymore customers needed a waitress. When I saw none, I just hung out with Cana behind the bar.

" Y'now that Jackass is looking at you, right?" I heard Cana say. I turned to look in the corner where Gajeel sat, and the bastard smirked when I looked at him. I just bared my grit teeth and scowled at him, turning back around with my arms crossed under my chest, and I waved over Charlene, who ran-walked to me

" What is it, Lucy?" She asked, sweating a little

" If I asked you to take over a customer for me, would you do it?" I asked, hopeful she would take over the bastard, and since she was much more thick-skinned than I, she wouldn't hesitate to hit him.

" Sorry, my hands are ties, now. I've got Ever and Elfman to serve, along with some others." She said, rushing off to the kitchen. I talked with Cana while Gajeel's order was being prepared, and then I heard a call, from Mira, and I rushed in, Lisanna having to help me carry all of the food out to the stupid man. When I was coming out with the last tray of food, I bumped into a customer coming in, and he caught me by the wrist, while I was trying to balance my tray. After I had steadied myself, the man had turned out to be a complete perv.

" Ah, what a beautiful body you have there... You know, I can make your body feel even greater than it looks." I scoffed and went to turn away when he grabbed my wrist once more. He was strong, and I couldn't move.

" Char!" I called, attracting the entire resturant's attention. Charlene rushed out and glared at the man.

" What do you think you're doing with my big sister?" She growled

" What are you going to do, little girl?" He sneered, putting emphasis on the word 'little' since she wasn't very tall at all, barely 5''3. She laughed maniaclly, and then smiled creepily at the man.

" You did _not _just say that." She said, punching him in the stomach, and as he hunched over, she let out a drop-kick on his head, and then she kicked him to the side, and right out the door.

" That's the last time you mess with Charlene or Lucy Heartfilia." She said with a smirk. I hugged her with my now-free arm, as all the customers cheered for her, espescially our regulars, for they knew her.

" Thanks, Char." I said, going to deliver the long-awaited tray of food to Gajeel, who had wide eyes

" That's one fireball of a sister you got there, Bunny-Girl." he said, as I scowled at the new nickname.

" That means you don't want to mess with me." I said with a smirk

" Now, who said I didn't want to mess with you anymore?" He smirked back, and my own smirk turned into a deep frown, a light blush dusting my cheeks.

" Pervert." I said bluntly, giving him the check, since he had already finished all of his food

" Hey, I didn't mean it that way, Bunny. You are one naughty girl." He teased, putting money down on the table. I turned red with embarresment, trying to sputter out a comeback, when he went and left, saying,

" Nice place, maybe I should become a regular." I felt anger bubble up in me. That guy had some real balls, talking to me like that, even though he had just seen my sister beat the crap out of someone because they messed with me. As I gave the money to Lisanna, and said

" God, what a jackass!" but along with that all I could ask myself was _What the fuck have I done?!_

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**Sooooo. I think that went pretty well. If you want to question the violence that Charlene has, it's because I'm equally violent. Ex: My guy-friend was teasing me about my crush, he was in front of us and his friends were behind us. **

**" He said, why don't you ask him out? He's right the-" He was about to point, but I kicked him behind the knees and then punched him in the gut, yelling shut up to him, while my crush's friends were chanting 'fight!'. **

**So, yeah. I'm violent. Don't mess with me. Rawr.**

**~Charlene**


	2. Chapter 2: You!

**Okay... I'm doing good with updating this story... so far... I hope I don't leave it to rot like my other stories... damn, I should continue those, by the way, here are some answers for people in the comments:**

**LeprechaunGreen: **_Yes, I would be honored. Tell me who the victims are hehe..._

**Ikutolovesme: **_Haha, yeah. This is a multi-chapter, and yeah, I know! Nobody really writes GaLus, and although most are gems, some are poorly written, and I just can't enjoy them properly._

**Okay, now on with my story!**

**By the way, forgot to say this last time, but...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, but if I did, I would make all beloved crack couples come true.**

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**Chapter 2: You?!**

**Lucy's P.O.V.**

I was making dinner, when that stupid Gajeel guy from earlier popped into my head. Dammit, I hate that sonova bitch! He's so confident and... and... STUPID! I growled, frustrated at that jerky guy, and now it's all my fault, he's going to become a regular! OOOOOOH! It just makes my blood fucking boil! Pardon my French, but I am truly pissed off. I had no one but myself to rant to, since Charlene went to run to the grocery store to get milk and some snack foods, since we were out... she was tasking longer than I expected, thou-

*SLAM!*

Charlene stormed into the apartment, kicking the door open, then slamming it shut, and muttering incoherent things about something, when her mumbling starting becoming a yell, and all I heard was

"-what a bitch-ass, skANK-ASS HOE!" she finally yelled, huffing and puffing as she put the groceries away angrily.

" Why are _you _pissed off?" I asked, a little happy that she was now as angry as I was

" I was carrying the fucking groceries home, when this giant guy-" She paused to show that this guy was a foot and a half taller than her, "-bumps into me, and tells _me _to watch where i'm fucking going! _Me! _We disputed and when I went to go and turn away, he grabs me by my fucking coat, and lifts me off the ground, _the GROUND! _He called me shorty, and then I punched him in the face. He dropped me, and I stormed off. I think I may have popped a bag of-... yeah." She says as I pick up the crushed and popped open bag of UTZ potato chips.

" You killed them." I say tearfully, and we both start laughing

" I didn't mean to hurt the poor soul!" She said, playing along as this game kept going until the smoke alarm went off and I realized I had the burnt the steak that was meant to be our dinner

" So..." I say, dumping the charred piece of meat into the garbage, " Hot Pockets?"

" Hot Pockets." She confirms, giggling like a child at my complete failure. I sigh and get the box out, when I remember that I wanted to rant to her about Mr. Metal-face.

" Char, you know I had a crappy run-in with a guy today, too." I said, putting two of the pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets into the microwave.

" Really, who? I'll kick his low-life ass." She says, clenching her fist to show her strength.

" It was this jackass of a customer I had to serve today, and boy, was he rude! He treated me like his goddamn servant! I mean, really! I admit, we do kind of look like maids in our uniforms, but he had no reason to treat me the way he did! Because I was so sassy to him, he's going to become a regular, just to piss me off!" I finished with a flourish of my hands, before hearing the loud beeping noise indicating our 'dinner' was done. I took out the hot rectangles of food, and ignored the label as I always have, and bit into the steaming pocket. I burnt the roof of my mouth. Totally worth it. I just took another bite as Charlene and I began to talk about other assholes we've met in the past, when I brought one up that really stuck out amongst all the others.

"Remember that jerk who liked you back in middle school, Junus?" I asked her, laughing at my memory of him

" Yeah, Mr.I-like-you-but-i'm-just-gonna-be-a-little-bitch-and-tease-the-fuck-out-of-you-in-a-douchey-way-until-you-like-me-instead-of-my-friend-Randall. How could I forget him? He was shorter than me, and had gigantic ears, and to think I was the lovesick one when we were in Pre-K. That little arrogant bitch was always on my back, even though my friends had already told him that I liked his friend, Randall. Even though Randall was so much taller than me... motherfucker, why do I always fall for boys who are literally out of my reach?!" She finished, out of breath, and a little flushed with laughter and anger at how jerky that kid had been to her. Randall, at the time, had been the tallest kid in her grade, reaching towering 5''10, as she had only been two inches shorter than she is now. We had spent the rest of the night talking about stupid things, going from boys we used to like, to boys we are interested in now, to all the girls we hated in school, and finally to our thoughts on who had liked who, before we had fallen asleep on the couch, forgetting to take showers, and forgetting to set alarm clocks

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**Charlene's P.O.V.**

No matter what, this wasn't our fault. Nope. It wasn't our fault we had woken up late. It also wasn't our fault that we weren't here to vote on a modest costume for 'Men's Night' tonight at the resturant. For extra money, every Friday night at eight, the resturant we would put the bar and stage to use. We put on sexy outfits, and serve alcohol. If we want even more extra money, we are welcome to set up a suggestions box, where in one side of the box, you put 5 dollars in , and then write a song suggestion for us to sing in the other side, then when the time comes, the singer themselves picks a scrap of paper from the suggestions side of the box to see what song they'll be singing. Usually only Cana, Lucy, and I have boxes set up, because Juvia has the support of her loving boyfriend, Lyon, Wendy is still in Highschool, so she isn't allowed to participate in 'Men's Night', and since Lisanna and Mira are sisters and live on their own, they have all of the money they need. Also, if you pass 30 dollars in your box, you are forced to dance to whatever song you pull from your box. I guess you could say that after eight, our resturant was almost like a Burlesque.

I honestly don't like the idea of all this, and the only reason I do it is so I have money for shoe-shopping. I will be the first person to admit that I have a sneaker addiction, and like big company name-brands, But back to the choosing of the outfit. Tonight was the outfit of 'Animals' and I have to wear a stupid white tiger outfit, and because I got here late, I couldn't get the one that covers more, because Juvia wanted it. This outfit was nothing more than a tiger-stripe bikini top and bottoms, with black thigh-high stockings, tiger-print sneakers (I had no idea those even existed!), black fingerless gloves, and it was complete with tiger ears and tail. Poor Lucy was stuck as a kitten, Erza and Mira had to cook wearing sexy cook outfits (as always), Juvia got to serve as a parrot, and Lisanna had to serve as a lion.

As we waited for more customers to come, I could only groan and lean my head on the bar in frustration for getting here at 11 rather than 7 like Lucy and I should have. We had gotten part of our pay deducted for that, which means I would haver to try and get that money back through 'Men's Night' tonight. On that note, it still surprised me how every once in a while, a man close to the age of a grandfather would come in, pervy old geezers, although most of our audience ranged from 20 to 30 year old men. I groaned once more, and hour had passed and no one else had come in for me to take care of.

" You okay, girl?" I heard someone ask from in front of me. I looked up off the counter to see someone whom I hadn't seen in a long time-

"Devon!" I said, literally falling over the bar to hug her

" I haven't seen you in so long!" I then gasped in realization "Ohmigosh, did something happen with you and Victor?" I asked. Victor had been the boyfriend she had moved away to be with- for the record, i never trusted the suspicious bastard

" Yes.. Now you can say 'I told you so'. He was cheating on me with Marika. Don't worry, in the wisdom of your teachings, I had kicked him in the ball, lifted my arms, and screamed touchdown!" She cheered (A/N: If you don't know, this actually did happen with me and Devon. We were at a hotel, she was scantilly clad, boy called her a stripper, I kicked him in the balls and yelled 'touchdown'. I honestly don't remember his name. Doesn't matter.) I high-fived her

" So, what can I get you?" I asked her

" Nothing, I'm here for a job interview!" She said happily. My face lit up with joy and I began to jump up and down

" Then let's get you to Mira! Se runs the place!" I said, literally pulling her over the bar his time, making sure she landed on her feet before going into the kitchen with me, but before I left the main room, I heard the door open, and a "Fucking hell, NO!" From Lucy. Must be that bitchy guy. I'll deal with him later. I spotted Mira washing her hands, and Devon and I rushed over to her, practially knocking her over

" Mira, Mira! You remember my friend Devon, right? Well, she needs a job and wants to work here, can she? Can she?" I ask childishly, Devon and I holding hands hopefully.

" Anyone who can make you so goofy is okay in my book!" She says with a smile, handing Devon her new uniform "Go change, and this is for 'Men's Night'. Charlene can explain it to you." She adds, putting a matching outfit to mine, only orange, on top of her clothes, and Devon gets a glint in her eye as she spots the frisky outfit. I go into the bathroom with her and while she changes, explain to her what 'Men's Night' is. She's going to set up a suggestions box, and not to brag or anything, but Devon and I have always been a killer duo when it comes to singing- we just kinda click, y'know? When we come out of the bathroom, Mira immediately calls me over to help out with Lucy at her table, since she has 2 customers and they both eat in truckoads, I sigh, as Devon starts to tease me about how short the outfit is:

" It really suits you well, Char, since you've got such juicy thighs, and pretty legs. Any guy would want you dressed that way!" She calls to me as I walk backwards out of the kitchen, in the direction of the Table I have to serve, as I call back at her

" They want to fuck you regardless of if you're fully dressed or barely dressed at all!" This attracted the attention of most customers, and a low chuckle from the man behind me, when I fell backwards into his lap. I grabbed onto this guy's shoulders, and god, did he have broad shoulders! But my mouth went slack with shock when I realized whose lap I had just sat in.

" I knew you wanted me, Shorty." He smirked. It was that son of a bitch from yesterday!

" YOU?!" I yelled in anger and surprise, jumping off his lap and dusting off my skirt " No girl would want you, even if you looked like Channing Tatum." I scoffed. He just kept that stupid smirk on his face.

" Please, Shorty, Channing Tatum stole his looks from yours truly." He said, the guy across from him seeming pleased with the entire situation

" If you don't want me to smack both of you upside the head, you'll shut the fuck up." I ordered, and they both just chuckled at me. I growled and did just what i said I would do, the force of my smack sending them to colliding foreheads.

" See? I don't go for gays, Sparky." I smirked, referring to the lightning-shaped scar across his eye

" Now what'll ya have?" I asked haughtily, pulling out my pen and pad, pulling the cap off with my teeth.

" My name is _Laxus, _Shorty. I'll take..." He ordered everything on the menu, and then said something that made my temperature sky-rocket

" ... and I think the last thing I'll have is... You." He smirked, grabbing my arm and pulling me forwards. My face flushed and I shoved his face away

" In your _dreams, _Sparky." I said, glaring at him.

" I was joking, Shorty. I wouldn't want you in a million years + torture." He said with a loud laugh. I simply smacked him upside the head

" You big pervert." I said venemously, turning away and storming off towards the kitchen, and after getting in there, letting myself slump to the floor, clutching my chest, my face probably red. _What about this guy is able to get me so worked up?! _ I was snapped out of my thoughts by Devon, who sat next to me

" Laxus and Char-bear sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-" I shoved her face away, and said shut up.

" So you saw?" I asked

" How could I not have? It was like watching a comedy T.V. show!" She said, helping me up.

" I don't like him. This guy is such an asshole!" I huffed, brushing my bangs back.

**Laxus P.O.V.**

Messing around with shorty is the best! She's so fiesty, and very responsive. She is very attractive, especially when she glared at me with those dark green eyes.

" I'm surprised you had the guts to talk to her and touch her like that! Last time I was here, she beat the shit out of a guy for laying hands on her sister, Bunny, who hates me with an equal passion." Gajeel says with surprise.

" Beat the shit out of a guy? Bitch don't mess around. I like it." I said with a smirk. She was definitely one hell of a girl. When something clicked

" So, our 2 waitresses are sisters. The taller one you call 'Bunny-Girl' hates you, and Shorty hates me. Interesting. Shorty reminds me of that girl Randall used to talk about all the time, I think her name was Charlene. Apparently he would tease her and piss her off, and she wold try and beat him to a pulp. He said one time, he was at Emily's softball practice, and Charlene was up to bat, she was called 'slugger' for a reason, he said. He made her so angry she chased him with her _metal _softball bat. He only got away by jumping a fence." I said, recalling the memory of when Randall had showed up at home with a bruise on his ankle because of it, and limped for a few days.

" Really? Sounds interesting. I think I remember seeing him the day after. He has a crush on her though, doesn't he?" He asked

" I doubt it, he hasn't seen her for 4 years or so." I said, and all of a sudden, the busty brunette who runs the bar came up to us.

" I know you two like our two blonde sister waitresses, so how about I leak some info about 'em to ya." She said with a sly smile

" We're interested, keep talking." Gajeel said, leaning forwards a little.

" There's this thing called 'Men's Night', tonight, you see," She said with a smirk. Shit just got interesting.

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**DUN-DUN-DUN! Cana, you sneaky little girl, you! I want to let you know that I did, in fact, chase someone with a soft-ball bat, and yes, it was my crush, damn I'm terrible.**

**The more reviews, the longer the chapters will be! Until next week!**

**~Charlene**


	3. Chapter 3: I have to serve YOU!

**Hi! I think I could get used to this! It's really easy to update once a week! I should do this more often! I have noticed, however that my story isn't doing too good... My older stories seem to still be doing better... oh well, this just isn't one of my best writings, and I can respect that. by the way, if you haven't noticed this story is now rated M for sexual themes, so if this isn't in your range, run away immediately.**

**Last time, we saw our dear little Cana sharing some utterly 'good' news with Gajeel and Laxus...**

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**Lucy's P.O.V.**

I cannot believe he came back AGAIN! And this time, he brought his stupid, arrogant friend here, too. Charlene had to help cook with Mira and Erza, looking none to pleased. Usually she would enjoy cooking, but she just looked beyond pissed at the moment.

" What's eating you?" I ask, leaning on the counter next to most of the towering plates of food for our two bastards.

" Y'know that guy who i told you about yesterday?" She asked angrily, sloppily making a club sandwich.

" Yeah... is that?" I asked with a gasp. This was just too coincidental! I began to start panicking.

" Yep. That stupid giant jackass. That's Sparky, alright!" She said with a smile and creased, angry-looking eyebrows.

" Sparky?" Erza asked her, confused at the strange nickname. Charlene sighed angrily and told Erza and Mira the whole story, including 'Sparky's real name

" I know Laxus! He's Makarov's grandson! Although he should know better than to treat such a pretty girl so rudely!" She said, angrily waving her ladle through the air like a pointer stick.

" I'll kick his ass for you if you want, Char!" Erza said with a murderous aura.

" Nah, I'll give myself that pleasure. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment where I can kick that stupid butt of his right out the door." She said. I could see her foot already twitching with the itch to kick him. I grabbed all of Gajeel's food and slid it onto both my arms, skillfully balancing all the trays, Charlene doing the same with Laxus' food. We carefully brought the food out, and dropped the food in front of the males, checking the time as I did so. It was already 5:30! We had spent 2 hours and a half to make these idiots their stupid-ass food, and as soon as we _did _put the food down, they all but inhaled the food in monstrous proportions. They had looked like the cats that ate the canaries when we had come back, but now they just looked like the damn pigs they are.

**Devon's P.O.V.**

I had waited until Charlene and Lucy were inside the kitchen when I had spoken to Cana.

" You know, they would be some hot couples." I said, referring to Lucy, Gajeel, Laxus, and Char, with a devilish smile on my face

" I know, girl. That's why I told them about 'Men's Night'." She smiled. I just had my mouth hanging open, which slowly turned into another grin.

" You did _not._" I said with disbelief, pleased with her actions.

" Of course I did." She smiled, taking a swig of 'water' as she insisted it was. I knew it was vodka.

" You dirty little bitch." I praised, leaning on my elbows on the counter, sneaking a look at the two said men, who were laughing now, their food already finished.

" They'll be thanking me later after they have some angry sex." She mused with a dirty smirk

" Is that what they told you?" I ask, curious as to how she came up with that.

" Well, something like that..."

**_Flashback (Cana's P.O.V.)_**

_"Well, there's this thing called 'Men's Night', you see..." I said, trailing off , seeing if they were listening. listening they were, perverted smiles plastered to their faces._

_" We get dressed up in sexy outfits and serve the men that come here- after eight, this place is a makeshift burlesque, only a small portion actually sing and dance. Me, the sisters, and, Devon, the new girl." I said, then explaining how they could vote for songs for us girls, and how it works with the money._

_" When they dance, most guys pitch a tent for every other guy to see. I've been told it's like an indirect lap dance." I finished, wiggling my eyebrows at the men. They just smiled bigger, looking at each other and then looking back at me._

_" Anything else we should know?" The blonde one asks._

_" Yeah. Tonight's theme is 'Animals", 'Shorty' is gonna be a white tiger, and 'Bunny-girl' is gonna be a little sexy bunny. Pay enough, and they're gonna dance. They have to. by the way, just a little trick, if you want extra, write two songs on both sides of the paper. Because of the rules, they have to do both." I said. Although I was meant to be the bunny, with a little help from Mira, I could switch costumes with our busty blonde._

_" We'll be there, Lady. By the way, haven't I seen you somewhere before?" The blonde guy asks. I have to admit, he looks vaguely familiar himself._

_" Nah, but you do look vaguely familiar." I admit_

_" Think 'Flaming Club'. Think I've seen you hangin' around Bacchus." he said. Ah! That's right, he works there with metal-face!_

_" Yeah, you work there. I know where to find you and Black Beauty over here when I have some dirt on our favorite waitresses. Have fun tonight, you two!" I laugh, walking away_

_" Believe me, we will." I can practically hear the smirk in metal-face's voice._

**_Flashback end (Back to Devon's P.O.V.)_**

"So basically, they implied it, but did not full-out say they were going to fuck the girls while resisting, but judging on their love-hate relationship, they are either going to do the dirty, or at least have and intimate kiss out of anger and frustration. After all, those girls have to be craving something, char hasn't had sex in a year, and Lucy hasn't had sex since her last boyfriend." She finished, also finishing her bottle of undefined liquid, when something hit me.

" Charlene lost her V-card?!" I whisper-yelled to her. Cana just laughed

" Yes, but she said that his dick was the same size as his brain, so she hasn't had the full experience of a good, hard fuck. I have a feeling that Blondie over there has a dick as big as his perversion, and can show her a good time." She said. Geeze, she has everything planned out!

" We have to tell Mira!" I said

" Tell Mira what?" I heard Lucy ask as she walked out of the kitchen, as Charlene was taking care of collecting the money from Gajeel and Laxus.

" Uh, that Cana's bunny outfit is too small for her. Hey, Lucy would you be willing to switch with Cana? You're slightly smaller than she is. You would definitely fit!" i said, making an excuse.

" Sure! If it makes you that uncomfortable. I'll go tell Mira we'll be switching." She said, walking back into the kitchen.

" Nice save." Cana said, high-fiving me, when we heard a high-pitched shriek, and we turned to see Charlene in Laxus' massive arms, flailing her legs

" You bastard! You did that on purpose! Put me down!" She said, her face flushed as she shoved her hand in Laxus' face. She bit him, and he dropped her

" You're a kinky little girl, aren't you?" He taunted. He did not just call her 'little girl'. She suddenly got angry, and went into '_Finish Him!' _mode. She looked angrily at him, and then her leg shot up, kicking him in his ass, her skirt flipping up and giving him the perfect view of her boyshorts, as he was sent out of the resturaunt, gajeel tagging along, he said 'Thanks for the view, Shorty. See you later!'. She blushed and handed Lisanna the money, then she furiously kicked the bar, muttering things about 'perverted jackasses'. Cana and I just smiled and laughed.

* * *

It was almost 8, now, and the resturaunt had been closed shortly after Gajeel and Laxus left, so we girls could get ready for 'Men's Night'. I had to admit, I enjoyed this whole idea, since I was very confident in my body, despite my breasts being a size smaller than Char's. I loved the outfit, and how my dirty-blonde hair looked. Mira put it up in a messy, jungle-type hair-style (A/N: If you're a fan of Vocaloid, think how CUL's ponytail looks.). Charlene looked the same, except for the fact that I was wearing black stillettos and she was wearing sneakers. Mira and Erza looked sexy, and Lisanna and Juvia looked hot as well, their outfits suiting them quite well. I could do nothing but oggle at myself in the mirror, the sheer makeup on my face was absolutely perfect, and the whiskers on my face were a nice touch.

" I hate these outfits, they're so... revealing." Charlene said, walking up to me in the full-length mirror, blushing. She looked so hot

" Believe me, Char, you look so hot right now. Any guy would be lucky to have you right now." I assured her, stepping aside for her to look at herself in the mirror.

" I guess. I do like how my legs look." She admits, running a hand up her thigh. "And my butt." She said with a goofy smile

" Dat ass, tho." I said, remembering our inside joke of when we were talking about hot celeb's butts. Dunno why, we just were. We just started to laugh.

" I think I'm gonna be confident tonight, no guy is gonna make me angry. I'm gonna be seductress deluxe tonight!" She said with determination, looking completely comfortable being in a bikini with thigh-highs, now.

" Let's get ready to greet the guys." I said, leading her out, seeing some guys already lined up outside. Mira hit the lights, moved the tables to the sides, turned on a playlist of sexy music, made sure the suggestions boxes (Mine, Lucy's, Char's, and Cana's.) were in place, turned on purple, blue, orange, and green lights, added an extension to the stage in the center, and then, she finally let the doors open.

**Lucy's P.O.V.**

I have to admit, I am not that much smaller than Cana. This thing really IS uncomfortable, especially with the furry, strapless bikini top. I was called by Cana to go serve the table in the corner with Charlene. Apparently there were a lot of guys shoved into that booth. I didn't want to look up, for fear that I might look like an idiot, and Charlene was comforting me the whole way, but when we got to the table, we got angry, although Charlene was hiding it.

" I have to serve _you?" _I sneered, as Gajeel's eyes started to raom my scantily clad body. I covered myself with my arms.

" Lookin' good, _Bunny-girl_." He said, pointing out the more-than obvious fact that I was a Bunny-rabbit._  
_

" Nice outfit, Shorty. suits you well." I heard Laxus say to Charlene.

" Thanks, Sparky. Can't say the same about you, though." She said cleverly, channeling her anger. Laxus was taken aback by her response for a moment, but then smirked at her. She just rolled her eyes.

" What do you want?" I asked

" To see you dance." Gajeel replied. I blushed

" To drink, stupid!" I said, throwing me pencil at his head.

" Three beers. Don't plan on getting drunk, tonight." Laxus said.

"Three?" I asked, making sure that was what they wanted.

" Hey guys, I'm back. Oh, the waitresses are here alread...y?" Iturned around and I couldn't believe my eyes. I looked over to Charlene, who was in serious, wide-eyed eye contact. She was looking up at her long-term crush, Randall Dreyar.

**Charlene's P.O.V.**

As I looked into the dark brown eyes of Randall Dreyar, I was speechless. The first time I had seen him since high-school, and he had to see me in this sexy outfit.

" Charlene Heartfilia..." he breathed, a small blush dusting his cheeks

" Charlene?! This is that violent girl you used to always talk abou-" Randall slapped a hand over Laxus' mouth.

" Never thought I'd see you again, Randall. What are you doing here? N-not that I don't w-want you here." I said, shaking my hands in front of my face.

" I'm here with my brother, Laxus. He invited me." He said, sitting down with the two buffoons. " I'm glad he did." he said, smirking while teasingly eyeing me.

" Sh-shut up, you pervert!" I accused

" I'll go get the drinks..." Lucy said, then added while speaking to me, " So you two can keep flirting." She said with a wink

" I-it's not like that!" I denied

" Who knew it only took one person to make you a nervous wreck." Laxus said, putting a firm hand on Randall's shoulder, shaking him lightly. I felt a vein pop out on my forehead as I angrily knocked Laxus in the head, thinking of using the seductress act, now.

" Shut up, Sparky. I'm way above your level, shorter or not. You can only dream to get your meaty hands on all _this._" I said, running my left hand sexily from the top of my breasts saucily down my stomach and slightly down my thigh, before moving inside. I Then saw his face pale, a heavy blush covering his face. I placed my right hand on my hip as I smirked, then walked away, swaying my hips a certain angle so that he would definitely regret teasing me, after seeing how sexy I can be. I Then realized that Randall was sitting there as well, and had just seen my entire show. My stomach dropped and I walked over to Cana, swinging an arm around her hip._  
_

" Cana. I think I can pull off the whole seductress thing, now." I said, my smirk returning to my face, realizing that I could show Randall all the sexiness that he missed out on when we were back in school.

" I'm ready when you are, Char." She smiled.

" I think now is a good time." I said. We gathered Devon and Lucy, and picked from our boxes. Devon and I got double-sided papers. One song was the same, so we decided that we would do a duet at the end of our first performances.

**Randall's P.O.V.**

It was surprising enough just seeing Charlene here, but after seeing what she just did, I couldn't help but gawk at her boldness. She had completely told Laxus off! I've never seen any girl do that to him.

" That was fucking hot." I finally heard him breath out, a perverted smile on his face, I put on my own

" I agree. I have never seen her so bold and... wow." I said, leaning back in the booth

"Okay _men,_ here are your drinks..." Lucy said, sliding Laxus his drink, then seductively leaning over Gajeel's lap, her breasts barely touching his crotch. I saw him gulp, and I couldn't help but be nervous, myself. After all, my sights were set on Charlene. She leaned back, and then, when she went to go hand Gajeel his drink, she used the cliche spill-the-drink-in-his-lap trick. He shivered at the coldness.

"Oops... it looks as though I spilled your drink." She said with a pout, then pulling for the towel in the crook of her elbow, and patting over his crotch, making him sputter mindlessly. Laxus and I saw her smirk, and we started laughing to each other. After she left, Gajeel's most perverted smile sprawled itself across his face.

"That was so fucking sexy... Bunny really knows how to use what her mama gave her." He said,"Now, it'll be easier to..." he said, trailing off.

" What, Gajeel?" I asked, curious as to what he means

"We've been trying for a day and a half, now. We want to hook up with them." He explained

" So Lucy and you, and Laxus and..." I trailed off " Who said you could have her?" I asked selfishly

" Oh, so you're jealous now? I saw her first." He said. My blood rose in temperature

" I went to school with her, so technically, I saw her first." I claimed. He was about to say something else when a girl dressed in a black kitty outfit walked up on stage and turned on the microphone

" Gentlemen! It's about that time! First up, we have Devon Marvel, singing 'Mind In The Gutter'!"

" About what time?" I ask

" Time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show." Gajeel said.

**Third-person P.O.V.**

Devon walked out on stage. having passed her $30, she had to dance, and she was perfectly fine with that. the catchy music began to start, and she sat down on a chair on the stage, waiting for the intro to die down. When it did, she abruptly stood up

_I got you thinkin' all them bad things.._

_I got you reachin' for them body parts_

She slid her hands down her legs, then working herself to the floor, jerking every now and then to the beat of the music

_I'm 'bout to make you do the walk of shame,_

She arched off the ground

_Ya never thought that you would fuck a star_

_Time is tickin', hearts are skippin', ready to go_

_Feel like my logic's missin', head is spinnin' out of control_

_You got my body twitchin'_

She started to stick her ass up and she shook it a bit

_Thirst is quenchin', ready to blow_

_Marvel's off her rocker, baby, this my show._

_Ya got my mind in the gutter when we're touchin' on each other_

_rollin' round under covers blowin' kisses like we're lovers_

she rolled on her stomach and blew kisses to the crowd of men.

_I like the way that you taste when you're all up in my face_

She leaned into a blonde man's face on her hands and knees

_Bodies touchin' minds corruptin' 'cause my mind is in the gutter._

The rest of the lyrics and dance moves were repeated aftwerwards.

The men all cheered, except for a shy Randall in the back, remembering her from school, as well.

"Next up, we have Lucy Heartfilia singing 'Bombshell Blonde'!" Cana said, allowing Lucy to walk out and stand with her back facing the crowd

" I am so ready for this." Gajeel grinned, not knowing what was in store for him.

She began moving her hips to the right bumpily, matching up the beat, then whipping around

_"That blonde, she a bomb; she's an atom bomb"_

She mussed up her hair, emphasizing the fact that she was, indeed, blonde.

_"Rigged up and ready to drop._

_Bad news, i'm a fuse, and I've met my match,"_

She shot a quick glare over at Gajeel, who had a large grin plastered across his un-changing face.

_"So stand back, it's about to go off"_

She wipped her head in a circle, and turned around once more

_"That vixen, she's a master of disguise, I see danger when I look in her eyes_

_She's so foxy, she could lead to my demise"_

During those lines, she had placed a hand on her ass, then twisting again, and stepping off the make-shift stage.

_"So i'm runnin' cause I've run out of time_

_She's a bombshell blonde (Wired up to detonate!)"_

At the syllables of Bomb-shell Blonde, she had placed her hands on the gajeel's table, and swung her ass in a circle behind her

_"I'm James Bond; (Live to die another day)_

_Bombshell blonde, (High explosive dynamite) _

_She's all I want, so I- I'm on a mission tonight."_

She slapped Gajeel, and then walked back on the stage during the echo

"_Her love is a drug mixed with ecstasy,_

_and her charm is spiked with a spell"_

She ran her hands down her sides, twisting around

_"A hot mess in a dress gets the best of me,_

_She's ice-cold but she's makin' me melt"_

She sank into the chair behind her, spreading her legs and placing her hand between them.

"_That vixen, she's a master of disguise,_

_I see danger when I look in her eyes,_

_she's so foxy, she could lead to my demise,"_

She had been shaking her shoulders up until now- she twisted to her back on the chair, almost looking like she would break in half

"_So I'm runnin' cause I've run out of time_

_She's a bombshell blond (Wired up to detonate!)_

_I'm James Bond (Live to die another day!)_

_Bombshell blonde (High explosive dynamite)_

_She's all I want, so I-I'm on a mission tonight" (x2)_

She stood up, looking quite proud of herself as Gajeel looked speechless with blood running down his face

Of course, after her, Cana had made all the men in the place pass out after her top fell off while singing 'Gold Trans AM'.

" Second-to-last up, we have Charlene Heartfilia with 'Tongue Twister'! But would ya look at that? It's a duet! Let's get a lucky guy up here!" Cana said, her eyes scanning Laxus and Randall

"How about you, the tall brunette in the back!" She called to Randall, who smirked at his brother, and got up to go join his old class-mate up on stage.

"You ready, Charlene? I'll try to make this as least-embarressing as possible." Randall joked good-naturedly

"That's not necessary, Randall-_kun~_.." She said with a grin as he visibly shivered. She gave him a playful shove, and then turned her back to him, leaving him staring at her back like an idiot. Thetechno music started playing, and then Lucy turned around, placing her hands on Randall's shoulders at the right time

(_Italics Charlene, **Bold italics**_** Randall****)**

_I want your tongue twister!  
You got me beggin' for your head-spinner!_

She pressed her hands against his chest, pulling him close, pressing her average breasts against his mid-body(Since that was where her chest came up to on him)

_I want it, I want it!  
__Let's get loud, cause I can't fight the feeling of your tongue twister!  
I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it..._

Randall had almost missed his line after Charlene flipped around and bumped him back with her ass

**_Get greasy._**

The two swapped saying 'tongue twister' every now and then, and during the instrumental, Charlene looked over to see her approving sister, and cheering friends, especially Devon giving her her famous 'D's Perv Smile'. When it came time for Randall to rap, he knew this was fair game. He was always the exceptional rapper, according to his friends.

**_Yeah, I'm on that Atkin's Diet  
I need meat or start a riot_**

He playfully slapped Charlene's rather large behind

**_Twilight, wanna sink my teeth in-  
So fine; girl I must be dreamin'!  
Grade-A your a diamond with class  
Shakin' it right- make me forget my past_**

That line wasn't wrong, she was waving her ass so suggestively to him, he almost forgot the shy, blonde spitfire.

**_Now move aside cause I got that cash  
_****_Rich guys first, nice guys last_**

As soon as he finished that line, he was about to rap once more, but was surprised when Laxus hopped up on stage with them, making Charlene completely confused, but she went along with it, anyways. She strutted between them and started swaying her hips side-to-side.

**Got a couple drinks, then you got me talkin'  
****So it's about time that my lips start walkin''  
I wanna get you in a tongue twister  
Tie you up so I could be your mister**

Laxus teasingsly came from behind Charlene, and took her crossed hands, bringing them up over her head, then spinning her around.

**I've seen a couple like 'sister sister'  
baby, get real close, cause I wanna kiss ya  
(I couldn't decipher this part, so leave it to your imagination)**

_I want your tongue twister!  
You got me beggin' for your head spinner!  
I want it, i want it  
Let's get loud! 'cause I can't fight the feelin' of your tongue twister!  
I want it, I want your tongue twister! (Oh yeah!)_

At this point in time, Charlene had climbed up Laxus' body, but held onto Randall's neck as she bent backwards slightly. Neither Laxus nor Randall had expected something so bold, but neither were complaining.

_You got my body shakin' head spinner!  
I want it, i want it one more time!  
__Cause i can't find the words to say it, tongue twister!  
I want it, I want it, I want it..._

Charlene climbed off the idiots as fast as possible and rushed to the back room, more than a little embarrassed from what she had had to do. She was flustered, when she heard footsteps behind her. It was Devon

" Don't worry about a thing, Char. You were hot." She said, calming down the panting girl.

**Lucy's P.O.V.**

I was worried about Charlene. I walked up to Laxus, angry with the little stunt he pulled, when I was pulled away by Gajeel.

" You are such a fuckin' sexy tease." he said, pushing me up against the wall in the hallway to the restrooms, leaning into me, as I heard Cana put 'We don't sleep at Night' on for the break. He kept staring at me with those sinful red eyes.

" What the fuck do you wa-ah!" He started to lick my neck suddenly. At first I gave in, then I was snapped back into reality. I shoved him off me, and then slapped him across the face

" I hate you so much right now." I said with pure loathing coating my voice. I just turned, already knowing very well that he was unfazed by my actions. All I could do was walk out and hope for the best.

* * *

**Hi! That took me so much longer than i expected. I'm sorry for not updating for 3 weeks! Our computer was being fixed during that period of time, but I'm back now! The name of the songs were**

**"Tongue Twister" By Cash Cash**

**"Mind In The Gutter" By Chris Crocker**

**"Gold Trans Am" By Ke$ha**

**"Bombshell Blonde" by Owl City.**

**I also want to say that I will be doing Devon and charlene's duet in the next chapter.**

**I am also going to try and bust out two more chapters to make up for the past weeks**


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